Every third Sunday of June in the United States is set aside for honoring fathers. The idea was originated in 1909 by Mrs. John Bruce Dodd and officially approved by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916. In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge recommended national observance of the occasion "to establish more intimate relations between fathers and their children, and to impress upon fathers the full measure of their obligations."

How does a father know the full measure of his obligations and decide on the right things to do in raising his family? The best guidebook to follow for child rearing, written by a true Expert, is the Bible. It gives many examples and instructions for parents, such as "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6). How important it is that parents guide their children in ways that please God, our heavenly Father.

In order to do this, the father (or parents) must himself be a child of God through personal faith in Christ Jesus. "As many as received Him [Jesus Christ], to them gave He power to become the children of God, even to them that believe on His name" (John 1:12). Unless one is born again (John 3:3,5,7), thus possessing the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4) and being indwelt by the Spirit of God (1 Cor. 3:16), he will be powerless to either live as an example to his children or to know God's will and wisdom to guide them aright.

At times this guidance will require that parents "chasten [their] son while there is hope" (Prov. 19:18). Discipline is an important aspect of emotional well-being in a child. It should center around proper training and teaching. Good discipline provides a child with the security of knowing what is expected of him.

Eli was an example of a father who failed to discipline his sons (1 Sam. 2:12-36). Because he would not restrain his sons' rebellious behavior (1 Sam. 3:13), chastisement fell upon Eli and his sons. Had Eli raised his boys with firm discipline, they may have initially interpreted his actions as a lack of love, but perhaps they would not have rejected God and been subjected to the judgment that ended their lives.

For discipline to be proper, it must be administered in love. When a father uses discipline in an effort to restrict or encourage certain behavior, he should make sure the child knows that the training is being administered because of love. "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged" (Col. 3:21). Good training not only will encourage children in their proper areas of interest but also will restrict them from activities that are not proper. Positive words of appreciation should be at least as frequent as words of disapproval.

Proper training will include spiritual teaching that encourages the child to open his soul to the ministry of the Holy Spirit in his life. Spiritual training should take place, on the one hand, by a father as he teaches orally. On the other hand, oral instruction to children in biblical truths must be reinforced by the example set by parents as they practice the truths they teach.

King David saw the results of being a poor example to his sons. David was a valiant warrior with a strong faith in God, but he willingly indulged his personal desires. His example of lust influenced his sons who suffered from the consequences of walking in his steps. The child died that was born as a result of David's sin with Bathsheba (2 Sam. 12:18). David had other sons by various wives, and they followed his immoral example. Amnon, who ravished Tamar (2 Sam. 13:1-19), was murdered by Absalom's servants (2 Sam. 13:22-29). Later, Absalom plotted to seize David's throne (2 Sam. 15:7-14). Though David loved God and wrote many psalms of worship and praise, his sons tended to follow his actions rather than his words. A father's words must be faithfully lived out before his children.

When a child sees that God is real and important in his father's life, that child will be inclined to make God important in his own life too. A child who sees that his father takes an active interest in serving Christ and studying His Word will be more inclined to develop those interests himself. It is especially important that children see those qualities in fathers. Too often our culture assumes that religious activity means more to women than to men. When our children see that the things of God are important to their fathers, they will be more encouraged to pursue spiritual matters.

Abraham "pitched his tent … and …builded an altar" (Gen. 12:8). The first thing his family saw when they stepped out of their tent was the altar. We do our children a great disservice if we send them out each day to face the world without first reading God's Word with them and letting them hear us commend them to God in earnest prayer.

Isaac was too young to remember when his father, Abraham, circumcised him (Gen. 21:4); but he grew up aware that his father had obeyed God in the matter. When God instructed Abraham to offer Isaac, there is no indication that Isaac resisted (Gen. 22:1-19). The Bible does not directly state Isaac's age at the time, but refers to him as a "lad" (Gen. 22:12). Isaac was strong enough to carry the wood that was to be used for the sacrifice. He certainly would have been able to resist when his elderly father bound him and laid him on the altar. Isaac had developed a strong, obedient, and submissive faith in the Lord. He followed the example of his father! And later, he, too, built an altar outside his tent (Gen. 26:25).

Our love for our children should be expressed by a deep committment that makes us willing to sacrifice personal desires to provide for them. However, we must never put our love for our children above our love for the Lord. We need to care for the physical needs of our children, while still giving adequate time for their emotional and spiritual needs.

Such intricate and difficult balances would be impossible to achieve by our own wisdom and strength. Happily, God can help fathers establish and keep balanced family goals. He has said that he "will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go" (Psalm 32:8). The challenge of parenthood would be overwhelming if we had to plan our own methods! God has reassured us that we do not need to depend on our own understanding (Prov. 3:5,6). A father can seek wisdom from God who "giveth to all men liberally" (James 1:5).

Some fathers find it difficult to admit that they do not have all the answers or wisdom. However, the truly wise man realizes that by using the Bible and its divine principles as a foundation, he can build a family structure that is sound, secure and successful (Joshua 1:7,8). To NOT depend on God is, in fact, the most dangerous thing a father can do.

—Adapted