Other than believing on the Lord Jesus Christ as Saviour and then yielding one's life to Him as Lord, perhaps the most important decision in life is choosing a marriage partner. Just as we cannot save ourself, neither can we find the mate of God's special provision without His help. He is just as interested in this part of our lives as He was in saving our souls, for He knows that a wrong choice here could ruin one's life—both in testimony and service to Him, and cause much sorrow, difficulty and many bitter heartaches.

To help us in the selection of a husband or wife, God has given certain guidelines in His Word. Obedience to these divine principles will spare the Christian much trouble after marriage. The following are some things to consider when looking for a mate.

1. Never marry, nor even contemplate marrying, an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-18, Amos 3:3).

2. Don't be fooled by promises or professions of faith in Christ. Allow plenty of time before marriage for the reality of faith to be manifest.

3. Marry only "in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). This means one who is not only a Christian, but is plainly living for Christ and seeking to please Him as the Lord of their life.

4. Though not an unequal yoke, it is not conducive to a healthy marriage to marry a Christian associated with a group of Christians differing from your own (Numbers 27:1-11; 36:1-13).

5. Love is not blind. One must keep his eyes open wide when thinking of marriage so as not to miss the Lord's leading and any danger signs of future problems of incompatibility.

6. Haste does make waste when marriage is concerned. Your own life could be wasted. Love takes time to grow. It takes time to discern God's will and really get to know your partner.

7. Continual prayer for the Lord's guidance and intervention in the selection of a mate is of utmost importance.

8. Does the Lord want me to get married at all? 1 Corinthians 7 shows that some are chosen for a service that is best rendered by a single person.

9. Am l looking in the right places? Functions and hangouts of the world are not going to bring me in touch with one seeking to please the Lord.

10. Do I read the Bible and pray together with my friend before marriage? Do we enjoy spiritual things?

11. Don't forget that the good looks and slim figure may someday give way to balding and middle-age spread . Since marriage is a lifetime proposition would I still be happy with my mate if such changes occur?

12. Habits don't usually change after marriage. Can I comfortably live with the habits of my friend?

13. Is my friend kind and courteous to parents, friends, to me?

14. Is he/she interested in helping others, or is he/she selfish?

15. Is he/she my best friend? Can we communicate about everything?

16. Is he/she industrious, or lazy?

17. Is he/she a virgin? Fornication is clearly forbidden by God (1 Corinthians 6:13-20) and has inescapable spiritual and physical consequences. Also, surveys show that those who remain virgins until marriage have a divorce rate 60% lower than non-virgins.

18. Is he/she always truthful?

19. Do we have similar goals in life as to vocations, finances, standard of living, place of residence, children?

20. Do my parents and friends approve of him/her?

—T.D.J.